Review: First, let me state that I’m not in a polyamorous relationship and it’s not the path for me (no judgement, just a statement). I have also not had the opportunity to experience pregnancy yet, although I hope to one day. Having said that, I do have a basic knowledge of polyamory and how it works and pregnancy (I’ve been around a lot of pregnant women and as I said, hope to be myself one day). Now that you have a bunch of information you probably don’t care about, on to the review of Polyamory and Pregnancy by Jessica Burde.
I have to say this book is extremely thorough. I personally had no idea how detailed and expansive polyamory could be, and although this book is geared to non-monogamous committed peoples facing a pregnancy in their group, there was information that would apply to traditional monogamous couples as well. The author tries to address all the concerns that might possibly arise from the pregnancy within a polycule and in my opinion does so very well. Not only does she address the potential issues, but she offers possible resolutions. I was very much drawn to the author as she uses her own experiences within the book, thus lending the air of legitimacy to her findings.
Her message is clear, take the time to address everyone’s concerns and try to deal with them head on. The fact that there will be all kinds of emotions from everyone involved and that it may change the dynamic of your relationship (before and after the pregnancy), whatever you do, don’t avoid it… discuss it and try to find a resolution. I thought this advice was great for anyone in any relationship. I also enjoyed her second message, no matter what your issues are, your children are what matters. Make the decisions that are best for them, not the adults. Workout your differences and try to be the grown-ups you are supposed to be. Overall, this was an interesting read and I believe those involved in polyamory can gain quite a bit of knowledge from reading this book.
On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being AWESOME), I give this book a 4. It was a quick read, full of information and potential resolutions. There were some typographical errors (that shouldn’t deter you) and there was a few times that profanity was used. As I am not involved in polyamory, I found the beginning to be a bit technical (but again, she was covering all bases and this book is for those involved in polyamory). Over all, a very informative book and fairly easy read.
Book Synopsis: The first complete guide to pregnancy in polyamorous relationships, Polyamory and Pregnancy covers every step of welcoming a new life into your polycule. Whether you are planning ahead for future children or are on your way to the baby shower, you will find something here to help on your journey:
Planning for pregnancy
Important decisions during and after pregnancy
Poly-friendly prenatal care
Birth certificates and paternity
Custody and co-parenting
About the Author:
Jessica Burde is an author, freelance writer and poly activist. She has been in polamorous relationships for nearly 10 years and is a member of the Polyamory Leadership Network and Yahoo PolyResearchers group. Jessica is also the author of the PolyonPurpose blog, which covers topics such as STIs and safe sex, children in polyamory and religious views of polyamory. Much of her freelance writing has been for medical and parenting websites, including advice for new parents, the stages or pregnancy and more.
Jessica has several future books planned for the Polyamory on Purpose Guides series, including Safer Sex for the Non-Monogamous, The Poly Home and Raising Children in Polyamory. She plans to publish one guide a year. Jessica also writes fiction, and has a novel-length erotic fantasy that she hopes to release as a webserial in October 2013.
A mother of 3 children, all born into polyamorous relationships, Jessica currently lives in western Tennessee with her long-term partner and youngest son. She misses the Appalachian mountains and hopes to move east in the next few years.
Polyamory can be defined as the practice of having or desire to have more than on sexual/romatic/intimate relationship at one time, in an honest and ethical manner. A person in a polyamorous relationship might be part of a group marriage, a swinger, a single person with several SOs, dating a person in a married couple, in an open marriage or any combination of the above. The central focus of polyamory is that these relationships occur with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Poly folk face some unique challenges in a culture designed for monogamy. Polyamory on Purpose was started first as a blog and now as a book series to discuss some of the daily-life challenges and ways to navigate them.
Author’s Blog – http://jessicaburdesblog.wordpress.com/
Main Website – http://polyamoryonpurpose.com/
Twitter: @jessicaburde and @polyonpurpose
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